I like to think I learn something new every day – occasionally I’ll learn something profound more often it’s a random and useless pub quiz type facts. These are 10 things that I have learnt about being a parent since having my kids.
1. You can clean pretty much anything with a baby wipe. Someone had smeared something gross on the ticket machine at our local station recently, I stepped in thinking “Leave it to me I have baby wipes!”
2. You will start to panic that your child is a social outcast if they haven’t been invited to some ones birthday party (I realise this is ridiculous but I can’t stop myself!)
3. We are all completely winging it – some people are just better at covering it than others.
4. A smart handbag will conceal the fact that you are walking around with kids spare pants, plasters, crayons, half chewed snacks, toy cars, snotty tissues and other random kid related tat.
5. The placebo effect is real. A dab of cold water cures a surprising range of injuries. A plaster fixes most things (especially if it has a cartoon character on it). I remember if we bumped ourselves as kids my dad used to use magic powder – which I now realise was just talc!
6. The most stressful of parenting moments usually seems better after a cup of tea. I have lost count of the number of times a cuppa has brought me back from the verge of a nervous breakdown (how do people who don’t drink tea survive?)
7. At some point you will catch yourself singing the theme tune to a kids TV show or a nursery rhyme when you are not with your kids (says the woman who was singing the three times table song in the office).
8. Your toddler will always want to eat a stray raisin that they have found on the floor way more than any of your lovingly prepared meals.
9. You need highly developed interrogation skills to find out what your child has done at school or preschool. “How was your day?” just doesn’t work.
10. If you are worrying about whether you are doing a good enough job as a parent it is because you care so much about doing it well. Which probably means you are doing just fine!