My experience of having twins is that one on one time is as rare as unicorn poop! In their 4.5 years of life I can count on one hand the number of times I have been with just one on my boys! There have been two occasions when Leo has stayed at home with me due to illness when Sam has gone to preschool. I had a night in hospital with Sam when he was about 6 months old. I spent a very long evening with Leo in A&E when he was a toddler. I’ve taken one of the boys to the supermarket once or twice. Rolando has taken the boys out individually a few times while I’ve hung out with Sofia and one of her brothers.
Having the twins together all of the time is not really a conscious choice. In a lot of ways we really try to treat the boys as individuals. We never dress them the same way and recognise their different personalities and preferences. We thought about opting for individual preschool sessions once a week but logistically we couldn’t fit it in. When Rolando and I are not working we usually spend time together as a family. Other times I’ll have some girl time with Sofia and Rolando will do something separate with the boys.
The twins being together 24/7 can be tricky. They constantly talk at the same time! They are always battling with each other to get my attention and get frustrated when they feel that they are not being heard. Add 8 year old Sofia into the mix too and it all gets pretty loud!
Last night was a bit of a mini revelation! I gave the boys baths separately! It sounds crazy but ever since they were old enough to sit up I’ve put them in the bath together. This usually involves a lot of splashing and mayhem! Yesterday by chance Leo came into the bathroom on his own when I was getting things ready. On the spur of the moment he decided he wanted to have a bath on his own.
It was a really different experience for all of us. There was less splashing and a lot more chatting, stretching out and relaxing. Leo was amazed that when he lay back he could fill the length of the bath (not something you can do when sharing the space with your brother). Sam carefully made little patterns out of foam fish on the side of the bath. It was really obviously that they enjoyed a different bath time experience and a little bit of one on one attention.
It has really made me think that I need to carve out more one to one time with my beautiful boys. To give them the chance to just be themselves without having to compete to get noticed.
Do you have twins? How do you give them individual attention?